It has been announced today that the people of Cornwall will have the opportunity to vote on 23rd June (the date of the EU Referendum) on the matter of Independence for Kernow. We understand that discussions have been ongoing for some considerable while and that the full details will be published soon. However the outlines have now been released and a “Yes” vote will see the independent country of Kernow established with Jethro as its President. Since Kernow will be outside the European Union our fishermen will be able to catch fish again inside the new 80 mile limit territorial waters. A new currency will be introduced, the Stein, which initially will be on Par with Sterling. The Stannary Parliament will be re-established with only those born in Cornwall having a vote, Cornwall Council be disappear to be replaced by our old much liked local Councils.
Reverting to the proud traditions of Cornwall all lessons in school will, in future, be conducted in Cornish and compulsory lessons in the language for adults and failure to pass the most basic of exams will result in expulsion to Devon. To maintain a level of control over immigration border controls will be established on the County boundary , there will however be “Fastrack” arrangements for Plymouth Argyle season ticket holders.
What will be the effect on golf I hear you ask? One of the main priorities of Kernow will be the removal of all forms of gender discrimination and as a result we will be seeing the amalgamation of the two golfing bodies, the Cornwall Golf Union and the Cornwall Ladies County Golf Association under the banner of Golf Kernow which will implement some fundamental changes to the game. With only one body there will in future be only one set of tees for both sexes and all competitions will be open to both sexes at all clubs. It is understood that clubhouse facilities will also become unisex which will therefore result in a considerable saving in space with only one set of changing rooms. It is rumoured that the County Secretary is working hard, in discussion with the European Tour, to establish a Cornish Open which will not rival the Open but will certainly be on a par with the Scottish and Welsh Opens.
We have a bright and independent future ahead financed by our, soon to be booming, fishing industry and the Visitor Tax, thought to be about £50 per adult, which will be levied at the border on entry by holiday makers. So remember on June 23rd vote for Kernow and then the other vote, what ever that was about, becomes irrelevant.