After reading the Webmasters\' Christmas message Niblick thought he had better pull his socks up so went out in his galoshes to keep an eye on the Farmers in the wind and rain. His mission was successful as he witnessed a (real) farmer in all sorts of bother on the 9th tee. In the heavy rain the tall herdsman with carry bag and umbrella hiding (most embarrassingly as he was playing with 2 Management Committee Members) a Club towel gave a passable impression of handling a set of bagpipes suffering from the final throes of rabies. Bits were pointing in all directions as he struggled to regain control at which point he dropped his ball which then amazingly was never to be seen again despite furious searching in the bushes and all round the tee.
He is a fine specimen of sporting athleticism, a man of great footballing prowess who wore the Number 9 shirt of St Minver F.C. with pride and upon whose game it is strongly rumoured Peter Crouch\'s style is modelled; it is assumed that his automatic reaction had been to kick the ball as it descended from his weakened grasp into the back of the net – is this his final goal in a glittering career? He had better brush up his act before next November when he takes up his position of St Enodoc\'s answer to Denis Thatcher.