Niblick is very concerned that the tallest of Members seem to be getting themselves into more and more scrapes of late. One sunny but frosty Saturday morning with play delayed some strange combinations of participants were seen when golf finally started. None so odd as the former private Gumshoe, the owner and operator of the dreaded R2D2 and the very tall retired estate agent of this Parish often witnessed billowing clouds of smoke (but only outside these days).
All went moderately well till play reached the 16th green where the man of great stature, whilst prancing round the green eyeing up his putt from all angles, took one step too many and ended up falling into the top right hand bunker - the very deepest of them all. With his great height and with the speed of descent increasing under the laws of gravity at the rate of 32 ft per second per second hit the bottom of the bunker with some force. Reports of a minor earth tremor being recorded on the National Physical Laboratory equipment are entirely credible.
Da Big Fella, now giving a personable imitation of a beached whale, was eventually righted by his companions dusted down and returned to the task in hand and promptly sank an 8 foot putt. Niblick wonders if the Rules and etiquette of Golf were properly observed after this incident; should he have been penalised 2 shots for testing the sand and if so did he sign for an incorrect score requiring instant disqualification? One also hoped that the damage to the bunker was repaired and it was left correctly raked so as not to disadvantage other players.
Be that as a warning golf is a dangerous game for those poor enormous souls who have had the burden of extra height all their lives and it is no surprise that they suffered so from being bullied at school, found it hard to find work other than as Basketball players and window cleaners and are treated generally as oddities and second class citizens. It is up to all of us to make them feel normal, lead happy and fulfilling lives as best they can under such a handicap.