St. Enodoc Golf Club - Niblick and the horror of the lockers

A former resident Chartered Accountant member now ensconced in the soon to be independent Scotland decided that it was no longer worth keeping up his membership as he now so rarely visits the Duchy and wrote to the General Manager accordingly. Quick as a flash our man at the helm looks on his locker list and discovers that the Boston Red Sox fan still had one and instructs a member of staff, a tall lad not unhandy with the old golf bats to go and collect all the bits from the locker and then to give it a good clean out.

The lad duly does his stuff and collects assorted balls, bits and pieces, a few unmentionables in fact everything that you would expect to be in an old man's locker along with some articles of clothing but no clubs and duly plonks the lot in the Man from the Mid West's office. Again leaping into instant action to carry out his duties an email is duly despatched to said former member, he of the odd moments of frenzied excitement on the course, asking what he wanted him to do with all his old junk.

To the horror of the GM a reply winged it way back stating that he actually had NOT retained a locker when he moved away. Panic now sets in with papers flying in all directions to find an updated locker list which eventually materialised and rather spookily revealed that the locker in question was now occupied by the very man who had purchased the former member of the “Old Boys Saturday Morning Holywell Golf and Red Wine Club's” house in Penmayne.

Frantic efforts were made to put everything back into the locker with the strictest of instructions to place all the detritus exactly in the correct spots so no one would know about their dark secret. Needless to say a careful note of the position of items in the locker had not been made at the time of removal and their replacement was a tad haphazard. The old Chartered Engineer, whose mind was obviously wandering on to matters of jig boring machines and the torque losses in Constant Velocity Transmissions, did actually think things in his locker were not quite in their normal places when he next ventured into it but thought no more. With such a moral dilemma and after much deliberation and soul searching the GM decided to make a clean breast of it (pardon the expression) and confessed all to the spanner man consoling him with the thought that he was the only Member ever to have had his locker cleaned out by the Club prior to playing on that great links course in the sky.