St. Enodoc Golf Club - Guilty ! St Enodoc Member confesses

A Farmers stalwart, Working Men's regular, resident of Blisland and retired fireman was yesterday indicted of multiple offences whilst playing yesterday on the Church Course.

The facts (unembroidered, correct in every detail and as witnessed by Niblick himself) are as follows – The miscreant whilst playing the third hole, in a moment of inattention, allowed his three wheel push trolley to escape his grasp. The trolley at that point was on the down slope near to the black and white marker post. Said trolley now rapidly gathered speed and zoomed off down the fairway. It crossed the road and in so doing caused an oncoming Post Office van to brake suddenly. With unerring accuracy the trolley precisely bisected the gap in the wall and proceeded on it’s way down the fairway towards the third green. On the third green a Past Chairman was in the process of putting (for par of course) but became distracted by the errant trolley and missed. The owner of the runaway now appeared on the horizon, it no particular hurry it must be said, without a word retrieved several clubs from the now stationary trolley and meandered back up the fairway over the road and back to his ball.

At the conclusion of the round the trolley owner was accused of and pleaded guilty to

1. Driving a three wheel push trolley without due care and attention

2. Nearly causing a road traffic accident

3. Slow play

4. Disturbing fellow golfers without good cause

In pronouncing the guilty verdict the Chairman of the Bench advised that whilst the accused’s previous record had been taken into consideration he was nonetheless being fined and his trolley driving licence endorsed three points. The latter suspended for four weeks and subject to attendance at a Nick Williams trolley driving course.

At this moment it is not known if the Post Office will bring further charges.