In the steps of Sir John Betjeman

Published: 25th March 2012
Bobbie Rounsevell
Bobbie Rounsevell

Following in the steps of Sir John Betjeman comes our own talented Lady Poet - Bobbie Rounsevell  - and who has sent us the amusing and imaginative poem below

ABC of Golf

 A is for Analytical, we agonise over our game, we analyse our every shot,
 then make the same mistakes again.
 
 B is for the Ball, its very small and usually white, how often it bobs
 along the ground when we need it to take flight.

 C is for our Ladies Captain, there’s a few ex’s here today, but don’t
 fret  Penny you can always sing, ‘I did it my way.’

 D is for the Drop, which sometimes we can do, but first we have to prove,
 it’s near to rabbit poo!

 E is for Exercise to make us hearty and hale, but up and down Himalayas
 seems quite beyond the pale.
 
 F is for the Fairways, finding them is quite tough, why oh why does my
 ball always end up in the rough?


 G is for the Green keepers who always greet us very cheery, no wonder
 cause the T’s are back and the pin positions scary

 H is for the Hazards which I especially hate, the traps that get me every
 time, are those before hole 8.


 I is for the Irons, the perfect ones we seek, finely tuned and weighted -
 I’ll get a new set next week.

 J is for the sheer Joy when the perfect shot you play, and then sink a
 nice long putt, it’s what gets you out next day.


  K is for the Kitchen, we sneak out and shut the door, I think I’d sooner
  play poor golf, than scrub the kitchen floor.
 
  L is for the Locker room, full of gossip, chatter and noise, the perfume
  and lacquer fill the air, bet it’s the same in the boys.


  M if for McIlroy, young Rory’s quite a catch, he’s bagged himself a
  tennis ace, guess that’s game, set and match.
 
 N is for our (k)nobbly (K)nees our clubs an aging race, cause lots of
 folk seem to have had at least one hip or knee replaced.


 O is for the Opposition, a match needs concentration and guile, then
 afterwards win or lose you must shake hands and smile.


 P is for the Putting, the aim is to do it in one, 2’s o.k. but 3 or more
 that really is no fun.
 
 Q is for Quenching your thirst, that’s important I would say, to
 celebrate completing your round, there is no better way.


 R is for the Rules, the rules of golf are complicated, you’re best to
 study the little book, or you could get implicated.

 S is for the Scorecard, where our whole round can unfurl, if you forget
 to sign the card, you’ll get Freda in a whirl.

 T is for Tiger, for a while he’d lost his knack, but folks lock up your
 daughters, cause I think the blighters’ back.


 U is for Umbrella, so big and grand and stout, mind it doesn’t take much
 wind to turn them inside out.
 
 V is for Victory, it’s good to win and reach the highs, so good luck to
 the Gammon team, let’s hope ours take the prize.


 W is for the Wedge, in our bag ready for duty, the perfect pitch shot
 when played can be a thing of beauty.

 X is for Xmas when we’re often closed for frost, still we’ve got the
 Holywell, so lucky all’s not lost.


 Y is for the Youth, our Mark’s a super tutor, he and helpers share their
 skills, so important for the future.
 
Z is for Zeal, which we have in buckets for our game, I’ll end it there
  now folks, may fair play and friendship be our aim.