“Gategate” - Niblick reports

Published: 11th February 2017

The old barrier had more hits than the Beatles in its painful life and it was always a contest to see which would be destroyed next, it or the wall at Gut Bridge. Niblick, on the prowl as usual, has been fascinated to see rising like the Phoenix from the Ashes “Son of Barrier”.

Close inspection shows that all of the 21st Century’s finest technology has been employed to try and ensure that it remains firmly attached and horizontal to Mother Earth. Sadly despite requests to have explosive devices attached which would be detonated by vehicles hitting it, this was not possible without breaching the European Union Convention on Human Rights so these will be retro fitted after Brexit.

All is not lost as the new barrier has more lights on it than the Blackpool Illuminations and was so exciting to watch that Niblick almost had to be treated for hypothermia. There is a barrage of red lights on both sides of the bar to warn drivers of its presence which when the barrier is raised turn to green and just before the barriers starts to descend turn red again. All very exciting to watch and hopeful it will be successful in avoiding demolition even if it looks more like Checkpoint Charlie in Berlin.

There have however been issues with the aircraft approaching Newquay Airport with its red lights being mistaken for the red beacons atop the wind farm on the other side of the estuary. Thankfully Air Traffic Control have now informed all the commercial airlines. Life for our General Manager and “Barrier Meister” now should be less stressful thanks to cutting edge technology..............or will it be hit? Only time will tell.

Meeting notes

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Dates for your diary

  • 18th November 2017
    Frank Wills Salver 2nd round vs Killiow
  • 19th November 2017
    Mixed Greensomes
  • 26th November 2017
    CTC Q/Final vs Launceston GC
  • 10th December 2017
    Turkey Trot
  • 16th December 2017
    Ladies Chicken Chase & Pandora's Box